L I F E    C O A C H I N G   w i t h   P A T R I C K

 

Lifecoaching helps you define your aims and goals, helps you define how you’ll know progress is being made, provides assistance, and then helps you acknowledge when you have made progress. Lifecoaching is complete when you have reached or surpassed the goals you defined in the beginning.

 

The assistance is provided in a series of phone conversations. The lifecoach asks you questions that clarify your situation, and supports you in ways that allow you to propel more and more of your own progress.

 

 

Lifecoaching in History

 

Life Coaching is a response to the expanding awareness of the human population. People have always benefited from mentoring with someone who is an equal, like a friend. You might say Socrates was the first lifecoach, treating those he spoke with as equal in intelligence to himself and not telling them wise answers but asking them the right questions until they discovered their own wisdom. The kinds of questions Socrates asked were, What makes life worth living? What does a well-lived life look like? What is of lasting value? The example of Socrates (being equal, and assisting individuals to live better) did not catch on in his own time. And after the Athenian democracy fell, cultures were rare where people even wanted guidance in living a well-lived life, unless it was from a superior-viewed person like a professor or pastor. With Sigmund Freud in the 1890s came a new profession of psychotherapy that could help people identify obstacles to living well, but therapy required a distant, authoritarian, or parental relationship between the therapist and patient. The Twentieth Century saw votes for women and the spread of equality into many formerly authoritarian institutions. In the 1950s Carl Rogers began offering therapy as a coequal who simply listens unconditionally. The 1960s brought T-groups, where counselors would supervise people interacting as equals. In the 1980s people began attending workshops in far greater numbers, where education is presented by co-equal facilitators rather than superior professors. Even corporations realized that workshop-type trainings within and between corporate strata could improve their outcomes. So in that decade training programs emerged, such as the SouthWest Institute in Prescott, Arizona, for what would come to be known as lifecoaches and corporate trainers. 

 

Lifecoaching is like a workshop tailored just for you.

 

Like Socrates, a lifecoach believes you possess the essence of wisdom and knowledge within you, and all he has to do is ask you the right questions to activate and draw out this wisdom and knowledge.

 

 

Equal Partnership

 

Helpers in all professions have begun to realize that giving aid helps, but only to a degree. For a person or population to go all the way to self-sufficient vibrant health, there must be increasing experiences of trusting oneself, trying things alone, experimenting with one’s own skills and regrouping until one’s new patterns are well-established. Confidence will never grow if the helper does everything for you.

 

On the other hand, some helpers (I’m thinking of a certain football coach) assume people ought to have certain skills by now (like throwing or catching a ball) and ought to be working outside the coaching (running at home an hour a day to increase endurance) and blame or reject people who do not match others or match the coach (cut from the team).

 

Does equal partnership mean the person does an equal amount of work as the coach? No, equal is meant in a different sense. The equality comes by matching to make a whole, which includes helping just the right amount, not too much, not too little.

 

In geometry, a supplementary angle is the angle needed to match and complete an existing angle.

 

An equal partner is someone who accurately assesses your current state, and supplements your efforts to make a whole. The very next moment, your state has changed--you have grown by a degree, and therefore the supplement shrinks by one degree to match your new capability.  

 

When not enough is done for you, you don’t feel confident that you’ll succeed.

 

When too much is done for you, you don’t exercise your newfound capabilities, and growth is slower.

 

 

What to Expect in a Coaching Session with Patrick

 

Hi there! Please tell me a little about yourself. In the first minutes, I begin to value you, both who you are now and who you will become. I value your time. I aim to quickly discover the processes that hinder you from being all you want to be. I draw from my own experiences as a teacher and healer and ask you well-informed questions to hone down our understanding of your situation.

 

I also draw from intuition. I will leap (or fall) into ideas that may seem tangential at first, but provide fun interesting new paths to your progress. I use intuition to accelerate you to reach your goal far quicker. I do not consider myself psychic and even if I was I would still ask your permission to take you by a new route. Even if intuition is mistaken, at least it provides a creative process that engages more of your brain and energy. You know intuition is working when you make unexpected connections, gain unexpected insights, you feel a sense of relief, and you have a different perspective, including a growing optimism that you are on the right path.

 

The doctorly part of my training will insist that we agree upon a therapeutic goal. What do you want to change? What counts, to you, as evidence of progress? What will be the unmistakable signs that your goal is complete?

 

The nurturing part of my experience will ensure you feel safe and comfortable within your tolerance. Like a massage therapist checking in to ask, is this pressure too much, would you like more intense work here, are you ready to move to a new area, I will regularly ask you about your preferences, and shift our tack to match.  

 

Whether we are talking for fifteen minutes in your free consultation or an hour session, I want it to be a complete session, meaning you have gained something that you recognize is a value to you. So near the end of our time I will ask you to recap what you have gained. If you were not regularly gaining valued insights and changes, I would be the first to support you in trying other options. When you see what you have gained, and acknowledge its value, I will ask you how you’d like to plan future sessions. 

 

 

Policies

 

Hours: My availability fluctuates weekly according to my teaching schedule. Please contact me via phone or email to arrange an appointment time.  

 

Coaching by Phone: Coaching by phone is preferred for many reasons, including the time and gas saved commuting to sessions.

 

Location: In-person coaching may be arranged at an equal location such as a coffee shop, Choice Greens, Chipotle, or hiking area in Northwest Tucson, Oro Valley, or Marana, Arizona.

 

Fees: 15-minute consultation, (first one) free.
my new year's resolution includes developing an undeniable connection with intuition. To accelerate this coming true, I am offering deep discounts to coaching sessions for the first quarter of 2012. In these sessions I will be experimenting more with my intuition.  Pricing for January through March of 2012, and packages bought before March 31, are:
30-minute session $30.00
45-minute session $40.00
60-minute session $50.00

April first the rates go up to: 30-minute session; $45.00. 50-minute session: $75.00; 60-minute session: $90.00. 

10% discount when paying in advance for five sessions. 20% discount when paying in advance for ten sessions.

 If you are using a credit or debit card, please contact me and I will email you an e-invoice so that you may complete the secure transaction online. If you are paying by check, please contact me and I will provide my address. Please pay at least four days in advance for your funds to clear.

 

Cancellation Policy: If you must change or cancel your appointment time, 24 hours’ advance notice (by phone), or 48 hours advance notice (by email) is required to avoid consequences. This allows me time to offer your appointment to another person. If you cancel or change your appointment time with less than 24 hours’ notice (48 by email) one half of a session will be deducted from your balance. If you do not call (or appear) at the agreed time, a full session will be deducted from your balance. Cancellation fees must be completed before another appointment can be scheduled.

 

 

Graduating from Coaching

 

Duration of Coaching: How long will your situation take? The accurate answer is, it depends. You have existing patterns that have a momentum. As soon as the momentum of the new patterns is stronger than the old momentum, you no longer need assistance, unless one or two final sessions are required to help you realize how much you have already changed. Still, if you need me to tell you a number, I will use my experience and intuition to suggest minimum and maximum number of sessions that are most likely to support your completed goal.

 

Counseling: If your situation is hindered by something that requires counseling, I may recommend that you speak with a licensed counselor regularly in addition to coaching with me, until that hindrance has been surpassed. If you are already in counseling, please consult your counselor to see if coaching is indicated.

 

Graduation: People do not need coaching forever. The first time we meet, I will help you clarify goals that are achievable within the time frame you envision. As your sessions move along, It is my responsibility to remind you of how far you have come and how much further to completing your original goals. Upon realizing your first goal has been met, you may choose to finish coaching. Or you may be in a better place to see another goal that is of greater importance to you now, at which time a new goal would be set. Part of my job is believing in you, even when you don’t. I embrace the responsibility of making sure you reach the goal we agreed upon. I celebrate the day you move on, self-sufficient and fulfilled on your own.

 

Further questions? I offer free 15-minute phone consultations. Please contact me to schedule a consultation.

 

 

 

Patrick’s Experience Relevant to Lifecoaching

 

Caring: I was 14 when my brother was born and I was fascinated by the care and education of this young mind. I spent lots of time with him, carrying him, taking him shopping with me once I could drive, and people often thought he was my son. I learned early to be nurturing and monitor the safety and comfort of another in my care.

 

Workshops: As a teenager in the 1970s I attended Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics and Silva Mind Control with my Dad. This was the beginning of the workshop era. I repeated the Silva training ten times over the next ten years, until I could repeat everything in the training. Here I learned the power of imagination, brain training, energy healing, and alternate concepts of self and other.

 

Math Tutoring and Teaching: As a Junior at Mount Si High School I was selected by the Math department to be a paid tutor to other students who were struggling with math. I later taught college-level algebra at Western Washington University and middle-school algebra at Mountain View School in Snoqualmie, WA. I tutored my daughter who was struggling with math. She started off hating math and now she is a math teacher. I have been told many times that I am able to explain math and science topics in a way that makes it understandable. What I do is listen to the student to see what he or she is thinking, and once I understand where they are, it is simple to suggest the next step from there.

 

Religion/Spirituality: As a teenager I was active in the Catholic church, attending adult education groups in people’s homes. As a Junior contemplating college, I seriously considered the priesthood, sending away for brochures to Mount Angel Monastery. By my Senior year I began supplementing my family tradition with United Methodist summer camps and workshops. My first year of college I discovered evolution and discarded all faith. My second year of college I attended my first Buddhist weekend retreat. My third year of college I returned to the Catholic faith, and took confirmation. For a decade I studied similarities between Buddhism and Jesus’ philosophy. I became a member of a Tibetan Buddhist community in 1992 and attended many Buddhist trainings, empowerments, attunements and workshops until 1996. I have studied dozens of religions, spiritual paths, scientific perspectives and philosophies—its one of my ongoing interests. During my time as a practicing Buddhist I was especially aware of the teaching relationship between the guru and the disciple, and I read everything I could find about this relationship. I have studied everything I could find about the historical Jesus (including Augustine and Aquinas). I am particularly fascinated by the relationship of Jesus to his culture, to those he taught, and those he healed. I continue to wonder about how energy work and physics tie in with these pioneers of spirituality.

 

Parenting: in 1989 when my daughter was born, her mother wanted to go back to work so I was a stay-at-home mothering person for a year. Though I had not yet read much Plato, I had a strong conviction when she was born that she already possessed all the wisdom and knowledge she would need in life, and my job was not to fill her with my beliefs but to support her as she developed her own understanding. She is now a very independent woman. When she was seven I began attempting an equal partnership with her. When she was a teenager and we were hanging out at art galleries, music venues, and walking around cities, people sometimes asked if we were brother and sister. With her I learned many things about parenting, nurturing, mothering, authority, and equal relationship.

 

Building: I was a construction worker for over a decade, taking construction management courses in safety, blueprint reading, planning and scheduling. I understand in my bones how a plot of ground can be a completed school, hospital, or Pike Place Market in less than two years.

 

Massage Therapy: I became a licensed massage therapist in 1994 and have been practicing ever since. My first focus was medical massage including assessment of the bones and joints in terms of angles, contractions and weaknesses. In 1996 I was working in a clinic where Stephen Bruno began offering counseling and workshops. I had many sessions with him specifically about improving the effectiveness and quality of my massage therapy. To describe all the things I learned from him would require a series of books. I grew comfortable and confident as a massage therapist and began teaching other therapists in 2002. I have analyzed every aspect of massage therapy including therapeutics, relationship, what happens in the recipient’s mind, muscles, immune system, hormones, and brain. I have always enjoyed giving massage and I still do. It calms me and leaves me with more energy and clarity. One thing I have emphasized is therapeutics: there must be an agreement of what the goal is, and how to tell when this goal has been completed. Talking about the goal and the progress for seventeen years has prepared me for coaching. In fact, in later years I believe more recipients’ progress has been caused by the communication and relationship than from the techniques of massage therapy. 

 

Stephen Bruno: I was involved in the creation of a healing center called Natural Essence, in 1996. It was there that I met a counselor named Stephen Bruno who had been a pioneer of the lifecoaching movement in the 1980s. I attended his weekly therapy group, his weekly personal discovery workshop, his weekly writers’ group, his one-day workshops on a dozen topics, and received counseling sessions for three years. After moving to Arizona I continued to receive phone coaching for another twelve years. In all, I’ve participated in several thousand hours’ training with him. Much of our talks focused on my growing business of teaching and healing with hands-on techniques and energy, including specific training on equality in the therapeutic relationship.  www.embracingthemuse.com is Stephen's current website for lifecoaching and energy healing. 

 

Learning The Hard Way: In 1999 I drove drunk and incurred a DUI in Washington State. Among other penalties I was sentenced to 144 hours of group counseling. I had moved to Phoenix, and completed the group counseling there. In Arizona, the penalties were much lighter—sentences were 16 hours of group counseling for second and third offenses. So during my year in this group I saw many others graduate, and several reoffend during that time, one person graduating a second time and reoffending a third time. Many of the participants had multiple addictions and multiple crimes. This experience was highly educational about my own denial and discovery, about addictions and responsibility, consequences, strategies, programs and methods.

 

Teaching: After publishing two articles, I began teaching continuing education for seasoned therapists in 2002. One course I’ve been teaching for nine years now is called Equal Relationships in Therapy and Business. Even when I teach anatomy classes, my style of teaching is a coaching style, asking the therapists questions rather than telling them answers.

 

Training Teachers: In 2003 I began training others as continuing education teachers, focusing on the equal teaching relationship and tailoring content to match students’ needs.

 

Learning The Hard Way, Round Two: In 2004 I divorced. I was forced to examine things about myself and my relationship that I had never been willing to look at, and to begin uncomfortable new patterns that would serve two adults and a child in the coming years. Now that I am remarried with a stepchild, in retrospect I see how much I learned from this painful period of two years, that is useful to others in relationships and parenting.

 

Lifecoaching: I began providing life coaching for individuals in 2005. From the start I have had even more passion for coaching than I do for massage. It is a fun and fulfilling job to interact with people who are willing to state what changes they’d like to make and take actions toward those goals. 

 

Chaplain Training: In 2006 I began training as a Unity Prayer Chaplain under Rev. Alice Anderson. Prayer Chaplains At Unity of Phoenix had two main responsibilities: On Wednesday evenings people would come to the church and sit in the front row if they wanted healing. Chaplains would walk into the second row and stand behind one of the people, placing hands on the shoulders and channeling prayer and healing energy into the person. The second responsibility was that chaplains would call every member of the church once a month and ask if the member had any intentions for which they’d like prayer. Then once the intentions were spelled out, the chaplain would compose a prayer on the spot, on the phone. Sort of like improv. Spiritual improv! The skills I learned in chaplain training have served me well as a lifecoach.

 

Family Bliss: In 2007 I remarried very happily, and became a step-father and math tutor, again.

 

Ongoing Study: I read several books a week and keep abreast of many subjects and debates, both ancient and current. I am especially curious about spirituality and science, education, ethics, inalienable rights and responsibilities, imprisonment and alternative corrections, global equality, global warming, medicine, healthcare, the immune system, the environment, physics theories of time and space, space exploration, solar energy, electric cars, and photography.